In a little under 29 days I will be 29. That means that for the last 10 years I have been a writer - I have poured all my heart and soul into this blog, (that was once called AnotherporcelainHeart). It also means that I have lived 10 years without a single doctors appointment about my scoliosis. It's been 10 years of living with anxiety, but 10 years of healing. It's been 10 years since I have found Jesus. 10 years since I wrote my first penpal letter and ended up meeting the coolest people all over the world. 10 freaking years of learning what it means to be just as I am and loved as I am. I am so excited for the last year of my 20's, but before that:
Here are 29 things I have learned that I am carrying into 29 with me:
1. You are loveable. - just as you are. You don't need to change yourself to be accepted. As cliche as it sounds, simply be you. I spent a lot of my life at war with my body, but once I began to love my body as a whole inside and out - I knew I was enough. I was loved.
2. Go the distance for people. - There's that stupid quote, "don't cross oceans for people who wouldn't cross a puddle for you," but honestly, I think you should. I think you should go against the grain and do what people don't expect - cheer for people and be there when everyone else has failed.
3. champion people and cheer them - be their cheerleader on the sidelines. Bob Goff once said to me, "hope for others what you hope for yourself," and ever since that day, it has stuck with me. I think it's hard to root for people when you want that dream, relationship, job.. etc and you see them living thier life with it.. but this quote gave me a new perspective.
4. SHOW UP. SHOW UP. SHOW UP. If you want something bad enough, go freaking get it. Nobody is going to do it for you. and then STAY. stay in the hard, the ugly, the messy.. watch it bloom into beauty. Once I began living this way, so much of my life changed.
5. Drive far for the dang donut. I love donuts, okay. And some of my best days in my early 20s have been when I called a friend up and asked them to go listen to taylor swift with me in my car and drive to get a donut.. it's always turned into deep talks and lots of sugar we didn't need, but our souls always needed it.
6. STOP running away from Christ. Life with Jesus is so much sweeter. It's not easier, but it makes the hard stuff easier. You don't need to earn His love, you already have it. He is just waiting for you to open up your heart.
7. Spend more time with your parents. I've learned that time with my dad and my mom have become more valuable as I get older. If anyone is on your team - it's them. love them, ask them questions. be with them. You'll miss it once it's gone.
8. Write about it. if people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should've behaved better. It's also okay to pour your heart online for strangers - don't let anyone tell you your art doesn't matter. Your art is beautiful and it's who you are. I used to be afraid to share my words and my songs and my notes, but aren't we all afraid of things. just do it.
9. laugh more. don't take everything so seriously. there are moments for deep and raw, but the best moments are the ones where you are uncontrollably laughing with friends.
10. Speak up. Use your voice. - stop belittling your voice and your opinion. I know it's sometimes scary but your voice is needed in this world.
11. Leave rooms that don't serve you - stop being in spaces that require survival mode out of you and walk into those that are light. Close the door on friendships that don't lift you up.
12. Therapy is heaven-sent. Life honestly became so much more beautiful when I started going to therapy. I went through one of my most difficult seasons recently and am still enduring it, but if it wasn't for my therapist, I wouldn't have seen so much victory in the struggle.
13. Book the flight. Always book that damn flight. every time I have gone to a new state, place or space, so much joy has come from it. I love airports, i don't care what anyone says.
14. Healing starts when you recongize your own toxic traits, too. It also begins when you take action and not only repeat that you want to be healed. Real healing isn't sunshine and rainbows - most days it's up and down and confusing. It's okay. Don't discredit the baby steps.
15. There's a HUGE difference between joy and happiness. Happiness is a state of mind, joy goes deeper. Which one are you feeling... it matters.
16. BOUNDARIES BABY. In order to live a fruitful life, boundaries are needed. and people need to accept those. if they don't, the relationship was never that deep to begin with. Boundaries help us know our limits as humans.
17. Hug people more. Hugs are one of God's greatest gifts. I used to hate hugs, but now I am a hugger.
18. Rest is essential. Learn to stay home and be okay with the quiet for a bit. You can't be the best version of yourself without resting and soaking in some moments alone.
19. Punch fear in the face. (I always say this) Fear is liar and will rob you of so many good things.
20. Know which mistakes are worth making again and which aren't. You want a different outcome - do something different.
21. Know what breaks your cute little heart. Really...
22. Wine makes everything better. Sad? wine. Happy? wine. Mad? wine... no but really. (only red though)
23. prayer works. Miracles happen. God hears your prayers. I've seen this countless times in my 20's. and every time I thought God wasn't there.. he shows up. tenfold.
25. Not everyone leaves. People actually stay. and those are the people who deserve gold metals. I used to believe a lie that people pack their bags when you say one wrong thing, but I was actually wrong. and then I also became a person who stays.
26. YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS. repeat that over and over and over again. Stop doubting yourself. You were designed for hard things.
27. go on dates. lots of them. find out what you do and don't like. don't be afraid to date. to meet someone new, we are all trying to find the same thing - it's just that nobody ever likes to show their cards. well do it. show your cards and be that person. You'll never know if you don't try.
28. You aren't behind. Sometimes it may think you are when you look at everyone's journeys but we are all wired with different stories. None is the same. remind yourself of that.
29. You are beautiful. I've spent a lot of time believing I wasn't, but I wish someone looked me in the eyes in my early 20's and told me I never had to measure up. So now I am telling y'all that. Because you are and you don't even know how beautiful you are - you only see you how you see you - not the world. So glow, baby.
People will say a lot about what your twenties should look like but ultimately it's up to you. This is precious time to just figure it out.. and that's exactly what I am doing. Ask all your questions. Say YES to things. things that scare you. Those things will be what end up making you.
XO, J.
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